The One Where It's The Other Way Around
by Jaynee
Summary: 10 Things fan fic that has Kat being paid to take out Patrick and Bianca longing for Cameron.
1. The One Where It's The Other Way Around,...

The One Where It's The Other Way Around   
Chapter One: Our Story Begins  
  
Patrick pulled up to the red light in his 1973 Plymouth Duster, the radio blasting classic Joan Jett singing about her bad reputation. Glancing out his passenger window he saw a convertible filled with some fellow seniors - trendy types who lived to look hip but in Patrick's opinion only succeeded in looking vain. They were looking scornfully back at him, their blank faces taking in his muddy brown car complete with rust spots.   
  
Patrick knew he was the antithesis of everything they believed in. They wore only the best labels in fashion that their parents could afford - Prada, Gucci, Ralph Lauren. Patrick leaned more toward the clothing basics - Levi's and white t-shirts. His only deviance into fashion was the pair of Doc Marten boots he wore when he felt like dressing up a bit.   
  
The light turned green and Patrick gunned his car ahead of them and pulled into the Padua High School parking lot, parking his car in one of the last spaces available. Locking up his car he greeted no one as he entered the front doors and made his way to his locker to get his books for class.   
  
* * *   
  
Bianca sat quietly in the chair opposite from Miss Perky, the woman who was to be her new guidance counselor. The counselor seemed a bit weird to Bianca, but relatively harmless. It was Bianca's first day at her new school. The daughter of an Army Captain, she had attended 9 schools in 10 years and was used to the constant changes in her life.   
  
"You should do well here, Bianca," Miss Perky said. "We're probably just like all your other high schools and you should have no problems. I've arranged for someone to show you around the school and help you out. You'll find her just outside our offices - her name is Mandella, and is another senior like yourself."   
  
Having been summarily dismissed, Bianca stood to leave and as she opened the door, she found on the other side another girl - one who looked ready to kill anyone who stood in her way. Bianca tentatively smiled at the girl but got no response other than a raised eyebrow. Obviously this wasn't Mandella, her escort. The girl pushed past Bianca and firmly closed the door behind her, leaving Bianca alone in the front office.   
  
As she left the guidance counselor offices she saw a tall slim girl with long dark hair standing by some lockers and tentatively asked, "Mandella?"   
  
The girl turned and smiled politely at Bianca, "Hi there - you must be Bianca! Welcome to Padua High School!" With a relieved sigh, Bianca smiled back as they began moving down the hallway through the crush of students milling around before first bell.   
  
Mandella tucked a lock of her long black hair behind her ear and stated, "Let me go ahead and fill you in on all of our students, Bianca. We've got representation of all the basics here. Over there you have the popular kids - don't address them unless they talk to you first."   
  
Bianca looked over at some girls huddled by a locker, grooming themselves and gushing over their chosen outfits for the day. Standing nearby was a couple of football players, fooling around in the hopes of receiving attention from the coifed girls. Bianca liked to think of herself as a pretty girl but had never really fallen in with that type of crowd because she moved so much. In the long run she was grateful for that because she had always had the good fortune of meeting genuinely nice people with no obsession about their looks.   
  
As Mandella led Bianca out onto the courtyard she continued showing her more groups, none of which really appealed to Bianca. But she liked Mandella tremendously - she was honest, forthright and seemed really smart.   
  
All of a sudden Bianca spotted a cute boy walking towards them and she stopped walking. Mandella was in mid-sentence and when she noticed Bianca wasn't listening but staring off into space, she followed the line of sight and saw who Bianca was watching.   
  
"I'd forget about that one if I were you," she warned Bianca.   
  
Bianca blinked dreamily but continued to stare. "I pine. I burn. I perish!"   
  
"You have no chance. That's Cameron Stratford - he doesn't date anyone."   
  
"Why not? He's gorgeous. Is he gay or something?"   
  
Mandella looked over at Cameron, the sophomore that every girl from freshman to senior at Padua wanted to date. He was tall and lanky and had a cute smile at accentuated the laugh lines around his sparkling brown eyes. He wasn't dressed to the nines in the latest fashion trends, but you could tell that he cared about his appearance and wanted to look nice.   
  
Next to Cameron stood Joey, another sophomore who was a friend of Cameron's. Mandella wasn't sure why they were friends - they seemed to be opposites in personality. Cameron took life as it came but Mandella knew for a fact that Joey was a sycophant who lived only to climb the social ladder at Padua.   
  
"No, he's not gay. I'll tell you why you have no chance," Mandella replied easily. "Cameron is unattainable because his brother is a freak that doesn't date."   
  
Bianca laughed and broke her gaze away from Cameron long enough to look at Mandella to see if she was joking. "You're kidding, right? Why would that matter?"   
  
Mandella shook her head and said, "In a normal family it wouldn't matter. But it does in that family. Cameron's brother Patrick is a senior here, and for some reason their mom is really strict about their dating - don't ask me why, it seems more than a little weird to me. But basically it's a known fact that the Stratford rule is that Cameron isn't allowed to date until his older brother does - and that just isn't going to happen in our lifetime."   
  
* * *   
  
In Miss Perky's office, Kat Verona was being lectured on her activities from the previous day.   
  
"Kat, you can't go around kicking boys in the groin because they insult you."   
  
"I maintain that he kicked himself in the balls," Kat responded, her chin raised defiantly.   
  
"The point is, Kat, that people here perceive you as...."   
  
"Tempestuous?" Kat supplied helpfully.   
  
"Heinous bitch is the term I hear most often, Kat. You may want to work on that."   
  
Kat stood up and picked up her jacket from the chair. "Are we done, Miss Perky?"   
  
"Absolutely. Scoot! And now that you are back at Padua from your sabbatical - can you at least try to attend classes?"   
  
"No guarantees, Miss Perky, but I'll try."   
  
* * *   
  
Patrick was standing in the courtyard with his friend Michael, discussing of all things William Shakespeare.   
  
"He's only the most prolific and amazing writers of all time, Patrick."   
  
Patrick grinned at his friend and said, "Didn't Chris Marlowe actually write some of Shakespeare's dialogue?"   
  
Michael fell back in a fake heart attack, clutching at his chest. "How can you be so cruel?" he cried. "That's a lie! That stupid Gwyneth Paltrow movie lied!"   
  
Patrick only laughed and took a sip of his tea. He was used to Michael's obsession with William Shakespeare and was surprised his friend wasn't in the drama club. But for some reason Michael felt that attempting to reenact the Bard was to take away from the Bard himself - weird logic, but that was Michael.   
  
Patrick and Michael had been friends for what felt like forever, and at times could complete each other's thoughts. They didn't really spend any time with any other people, but for different reasons. Patrick had been popular for a nanosecond in his freshman year but was suddenly spurned as a pariah - and no one outside the participants knew why. Michael was Patrick's sole friend - and even he didn't know the whole story. Michael only spent time with Patrick for the fact that Patrick was the only person who could tolerate when Michael spoke in Ye Olde English instead of what was considered the "normal" slang of a teenager.   
  
Patrick was about to tease Michael again when out of the corner of his eye he saw a tall blond girl walk by, lighting a cigarette as she moved towards the entrance to the building from the courtyard.   
  
Michael saw her as well and asked, "Who's that?"   
  
"I think that's Kat Verona," Patrick answered.   
  
"The girl that's been gone for the past year? I heard she was in a women's prison for beating up a cop."   
  
Patrick looked back at Michael as Kat left the courtyard completely. "I sincerely doubt she was in prison for that. She's 17."   
  
"Still, I heard she killed a duck with her bare hands and grilled it on a barbecue in her backyard before they hauled her off to jail for beating the cop."   
  
* * *   
  
In the same courtyard, just moments before first bell, Chastity Donner stood with her cohorts, chatting mindlessly about the latest ad she had done for the Padua Herald.   
  
"It's just a small ad for bathing suits, but my agent told me that Victoria's Secret may be calling me soon for a runway show."   
  
Chastity Donner was one of the most popular girls in school. A senior, she was an African American girl with stunning good looks and a bright smile that looked amazing on camera. She came from an affluent family and had always been the Belle of the Ball at Padua High School.   
  
One of Chastity's girlfriends let out a low whistle and urgently whispered, "Virgin alert!"   
  
Chastity turned and saw Cameron Stratford and his friend Joey walking nearby. Flipping her hair over her shoulder, she coyly called out, "Why hello there, gentlemen. Looking good today, I must say."   
  
Joey smiled radiantly at her and Cameron grinned back as well, turning slightly red at the obvious attention from Chastity. He had always thought her beautiful but completely out of his reach for two reasons: she was a senior and his brother was a mutant who didn't date.   
  
* * *   
  
Bianca saw the exchange and muttered, "Ugh, why do guys always like girls like that?"   
  
Mandella laughed and said, "Uh...because they are bred to. Bianca, they're GUYS."   
  
Bianca looked over at Chastity, who was now flirting openly with Cameron nearby.   
  
"Who's that girl?"   
  
"That, my crushed friend, is Chastity Donner. I wish I could say she's a vapid moron, but in truth she's in line to be valedictorian and she's a model. Best of both worlds in that girl."   
  
"A model?" Bianca groaned. "Now I know I have no chance."   
  
"Well, you can at least try to talk to him - I know that Cameron is looking for a French tutor."   
  
Bianca's eyes lit up as the first warning bell rang to coerce students towards their first class of the day. "Really? That's outstanding!"   
  
"You speak French?"   
  
"No, but I'll learn."   



	2. The One Where It's The Other Way Around,...

The One Where It's The Other Way Around   
Chapter Two: Cameron's Dilemma  
  
Patrick and Michael walked out of the main school building and headed towards Patrick's car. School was over and as had been done every day since Patrick got his driver's license, he was taking Michael home instead of making him ride the bus. As they neared the car, a fire engine red convertible Viper pulled up next to them, with Chastity Donner at the wheel.   
  
"Well, well, well, what have we here?" she mocked, turning down the radio. "Patrick, sweetie, don't you know that the vintage look is over? Don't you read GQ?"   
  
Patrick smiled and replied, "As a matter of fact, Chastity, I don't."   
  
"Maybe you should, honey - you need serious help." Chastity's venomous smile turned into a sneer as she put the car in gear and drove off.   
  
Patrick shook his head at Michael and continued on to his car, while Michael watched Chastity's car disappear down another lane in the lot.   
  
"Why do you take that, Patrick?" he asked, getting into the passenger seat. "She's such a witch. She's the type of character that Shakespeare would poison in the first act."   
  
Patrick laughed as he started his car noisily. "My hate for her is a silent thing - lots of seething and gritted teeth."   
  
"You're a better man than I, that's for sure."   
  
Just as Patrick pulled out of the spot in which he was parked, a bicycle came across his path, forcing him to slam on his brakes. Looking up he saw Mandella Eckman swerving out of his way.   
  
Impatient because of his run-in with Chastity, he leaned out the window and yelled out, "Watch where you're going, you moron. Maybe you need to perfect walking before you attempt to ride a bike."   
  
Mandella got off her bike and moved out of the way as another girl came up and stood next to her. Patrick pulled out from his spot and drove out of the parking lot, shaking his head at her.   
  
"Who was that?" Bianca asked, watching the car.   
  
"Only the older brother of the love of your life. That was Patrick Stratford - Cameron's brother. I call him the Shrew - it emasculates him in my mind, which is good because frankly, he scares me to death."   
  
"Why does he scare you?"   
  
"He's a big guy and can be mean sometimes. He's got a reputation for being a real jerk."   
  
* * *   
  
Cameron and Joey walked through the parking lot discussing their weekend plans when Chastity Donner pulled up next to them and called them over.   
  
"Why don't you hop in, guys, I'll give you a ride."   
  
Cameron and Joey debated for only a split second before climbing into the car.   
  
* * *   
  
Patrick walked into his house and dumped his books near the front door before heading into the kitchen to see what was for dinner that night. It was late in the afternoon - he had already done his homework over at Michael's house - just some mindless essay for English lit class. It had been no challenge and Patrick wished the teacher would give assignments that actually inspired him.   
  
Adrienne Stratford, Patrick's mom, was hovering over the stove stirring something in a pot. She looked up and smiled at Patrick, saying "Well, hello, son - make any girls cry today?"   
  
Patrick grinned back and said, "No - I wasn't feeling well today."   
  
Just then Cameron came bounding into the kitchen and grabbed a soda from the refrigerator.   
  
"Where've you been?" Patrick growled.   
  
"Nowhere. Hey Mom." Cameron went over and gave his mom a quick hug.   
  
Patrick rolled his eyes briefly as she hugged his brother back. He turned away and started sifting through that day's mail. He came to an envelope with his name on it. It was from NYU. Ripping it open he let out a whoop as he read that Patrick J. Stratford had been accepted into NYU's freshman class.   
  
"What is that?" Mrs. Stratford asked.   
  
"I got in! To NYU! I get to go to film school in New York!"   
  
Startled, Mrs. Stratford turned off the flame beneath her stew and raced to Patrick's side to look at the letter over his shoulder.   
  
"But I thought you had decided that you were going to go to the University of Washington like I did."   
  
Patrick looked pointedly at her and said, "No, Mom, you decided that I would go to the University of Washington like you did."   
  
Cameron muttered, "The further away the better."   
  
"Who drove you home, Cameron?" Patrick sneered, stuffing the NYU letter into his back pocket.   
  
Mrs. Stratford pounced on Cameron, "Drove you home? Someone drove you home?"   
  
"Mom, don't get upset - there's this girl, a senior. I think she may ask --"   
  
"Oh no!" Mrs. Stratford cried. "You know the rules! No dating 'til your brother does!"   
  
"Mom, as it is I'm just about the only guy in school who doesn't date. That's so embarrassing! And if I have to live by that rule I'll never date until I'm thirty!"   
  
"And I'll get to sleep at night," Mrs. Stratford stated matter-of-factly.   
  
"But that's not fair!" Cameron protested. "Patrick's a mutant!"   
  
Patrick snorted but said nothing in his own defense.   
  
Mrs. Stratford ran to her briefcase and pulled out a manila folder. "Cameron, come here. Do you see this girl here?" She opened the folder and showed him a picture of a young teenaged girl who was obviously near the end of a pregnancy.   
  
Mildly whining, Cameron answered, "Yes, I do."   
  
"This is why you aren't dating until your brother does. When you can be responsible enough to ensure that this doesn't happen."   
  
"But he's not even interested in dating."   
  
"Exactly."   



	3. The One Where It's The Other Way Around,...

The One Where It's The Other Way Around   
Chapter Three: Who Can It Be Now?  
Bianca saw Cameron enter the Library and raised her hand to get his attention. He saw this and walked over to her table and dropped into the chair opposite from her. He smiled at her as he took out his French book from his backpack, and it was only upon opening it that he said, "How are you today, Beth?"   
  
Bianca's heart fluttered. "I'm wonderful," she breathed. "Just wonderful."   
  
Cameron smiled absent-mindedly in response but didn't say anything. After a few moments of silence he gestured toward his book and said, "Uh, are we gonna do this?"   
  
Bianca blinked slowly as she gazed into his eyes, not comprehending that he was speaking to her. She was in her own world, fantasizing about their future together.   
  
"Hello?"   
  
Suddenly Bianca lurched to life and laughed nervously, spreading her hands out on the table. "Sorry about that. I was uh...oh never mind. On to the French. I thought we'd concentrate on the pronunciation, if that's okay with you."   
  
Cameron groaned, "Not that hacking and gagging stuff, please."   
  
Bianca paused for a moment, working up her courage. "Okay, then how about French cuisine. Maybe Saturday night?"   
  
Cameron's eyes narrowed as he looked more closely at Bianca. "You're asking me out? You're asking me out? That's so cute. What's your name again?"   
  
"Bianca."   
  
"Bianca," Cameron repeated. "Well, Bianca, I hate to tell you but I've got a bit of a dilemma. It's called 'my family'. My social life is pretty much at the mercy of my brother. I can't date until he does. And he never will, so..."   
  
"I've seen your brother. He's kind of cute - I would think he'd be able to get a date."   
  
"It's not that he can't get a date, it's that he won't get a date. He's pretty anti-social."   
  
"Why?" Bianca asked, closing her French book.   
  
"I've no idea," Cameron replied, closing his book as well. "He was popular for a nano-second in his freshman year and then suddenly he quit going out altogether."   
  
Cameron sat straight up in his chair and reached out to lay his hand on Bianca's. "If only we could get Patrick to get out more - I'd be able to go out myself."   
  
Bianca smiled warmly at him as she felt the heat from his hand on hers and said, "Let me see what I can do."   
  
* * *   
  
"This is ridiculous!" Bianca seethed, sticking her exacto knife into the dead frog in the tray in front of her. "We've talked to a dozen girls and none of them will go out with Patrick! Maybe he really is a mutant!"   
  
Mandella laughed. "Listen, I just can't believe that you actually asked him out. I mean, you've been here, what, two days?"   
  
"When I see something I want..." Bianca wiggled her eyebrows mischievously.   
  
"Yes, but there's a high school code that you've completely blown apart in the process!"   
  
Bianca looked to her left and whispered, "What about her?"   
  
Mandella looked over at Kat Verona and said, "What, you want to date her too?"   
  
Bianca rolled her eyes. "No, what about her for Patrick?"   
  
Mandella looked at Kat again. The girl was slowly flicking her finger across the high flame from a bunson burner. "What makes you think she'll do it?"   
  
"She looks like she has a fine sense of danger," Bianca answered.   
  
Mandella snorted and said, "Understatement. You know I heard she punched a cop for giving her a speeding ticket and spent six months at San Quentin."   
  
Bianca giggled. "And do known felons often get into Honors Biology? Listen, do we have a plan or not? I say we go with Kat Verona."   
  
"Did Cameron actually say he'd go out with you if Patrick goes on a date?" Mandella asked.   
  
"That's what I said, didn't I?"   
  
"Wow, if you score this you'll be set for the rest of your time at this school. You'll be famous far beyond your graduation day. And you'll take me along with you, right?"   
  
"I thought you hated the popular kids."   
  
"Yeah, but I'm gonna need clients when I take over Wall Street."   
  
* * *   
  
Bianca peeked into the woodshop class and saw that Kat Verona was one of only three girls in the class. She was hunched over, using a drill on a piece of two by four wood. Bianca slipped into the room and scurried over to Kat, making sure not to touch anything for fear of losing an appendage or getting grease all over her dress.   
  
Kat had on safety goggles and didn't acknowledge Bianca despite the fact they were standing right in front of each other. She continued to drill at the wood even as Bianca cleared her throat pointedly to get her attention.   
  
"Hey there, um, I was wondering if I could talk to you...."   
  
Bianca's voice drifted off as Kat straightened and directed the drill in her direction. The tip touched the French textbook that she clutched to her chest and when Bianca felt the vibration through the book she jumped back and all but ran out of the room.   
  
Meeting Mandella in the hallway, where she was watching the whole scene, Bianca shrieked, "That psycho tried to kill me!"   
  
Mandella merely nodded and said, "I told you she was nuts. But I think she's perfect for Patrick. We just need to go at this from another direction - and I think I've figured out how."   



	4. The One Where It's The Other Way Around,...

"Are you crazy? How on earth is getting Chastity involved going to help me get Cameron?" Bianca asked Mandella while maneuvering through the cafeteria to a table near the back of the room.   
  
"It's simple - what we need is a sponsor." Mandella dropped her tray on the table and sat down opposite from Bianca. "We have no money. Chastity has plenty of it. Chances are Kat will do most anything for money - she probably can't land a job with her prison record. So we'll get Chastity to approach Kat about going out with Patrick, and you'll be free to try to pursue Cameron yourself."   
  
Mandella looked over at Chastity's table and said, "It's now or never!" Getting up, she made her way over to the table where Chastity sat. Without thinking twice, Mandella sat down in the chair next to Chastity and just kind of smiled at her.   
  
Chastity raised and eyebrow and said, "Are you lost, geek?"   
  
Mandella shook her head and replied, "Absolutely not."   
  
"Well, we're not friends, so you don't sit here."   
  
"I actually think I have something to say that might interest you. I wanted to run an idea by you."   
  
"I'm not interested." Chastity nodded to one of the football players at her table, who stood to escort Mandella back to her own table.   
  
"Just hear me out," Mandella said quickly, "It's about Cameron."   
  
Chastity put out her hand to stop the football player. "Continue," she ordered.   
  
"Well, you want to date him, right? But he can't go out because of his older brother."   
  
Chastity sighed. "Do you have a point to this obvious observation?"   
  
"It seems to me," Mandella continued, "that you need to find someone to go out with Patrick. If you can coerce her - say Kat Verona? - to take out Patrick, then you'll have Cameron."   
  
Chastity's eyes narrowed as she watched Mandella outline her plan. "Kat Verona? That's an interesting choice. What's in it for you?"   
  
Looking innocent, Mandella answered, "Oh, nothing much. Purely a goodwill kind of thing. And maybe when you see me in the hallway you can say hello from time to time."   
  
"Oh, I get it. Popular by association, right?"   
  
Mandella grinned sheepishly. "Just a bit."   
  
Chastity motioned to her minions, who all stood and began gathering their things to leave. "All right, I'll think about it."   
  
"It's a guarantee plan that'll work, Chastity, I promise."   
  
Chastity walked away, relieving Mandella to go back to where Bianca sat watching the entire conversation take place.   
  
"I still don't think you should have gotten her involved, Mandella."   
  
"Listen, this is gonna be great. I know she's going to go for the idea - I could already see the wheels turning in her head. And while she's occupied with trying to get Kat to go out with Patrick, you can spend more time with Cameron and woo him."   
  
* * *   
  
As gym class progressed on the Padua football field, Chastity watched Kat Verona, who sat sulkily in the stands refusing to take part. Patrick was in the middle of the field, working with an intimidated freshman who was having problems learning how to kick a soccer ball.   
  
When the coach wasn't looking, Chastity moved into the stands and walked over to Kat.   
  
"Hey Verona."   
  
Kat looked up suspiciously at Chastity, giving her a quick once-over before emitting a derisive snort. "Can I help you?"   
  
"As a matter of fact, you can. I have a proposition for you." Chastity sat down delicately next to Kat, keeping a safe distance from the lit cigarette that dangled from Kat's hand, which was propped on the bench. "Do you see that guy?" Chastity pointed to Patrick.   
  
Kat nodded, "Sure, Patrick Stratford. What about him?"   
  
"I want you to go out with him."   
  
Kat looked up sharply at Chastity, taking a drag on her cigarette. "Yeah, sure, Sparky - I'll get right on that."   
  
"I'm serious. I'll even give you some motivation." Chastity laid out a twenty dollar bill on the bench between them.   
  
"What's that for? Gum?" Kat left the bill on the bench and said, "No one can go out on a date with twenty bucks."   
  
Chastity put another twenty on the bench.   
  
Kat let out another undignified snort and threw her cigarette on the ground. While snubbing it out with her shoe, she said, "Look, are you living in the 1960s? A decent date is at least seventy-five dollars nowadays."   
  
"Fifty and you have a deal."   
  
Kat hesitated a moment before saying, "You're giving me fifty bucks to take out some guy?"   
  
"That's what I'm doing, yes."   
  
Kat snapped up the two bills and held out her hand as Chastity placed a ten in her palm. "You got yourself a deal, Donner."   
  
A few minutes later, as gym class came to an end, Kat stepped down onto the track that surrounded the field and found Patrick Verona drinking water on the sidelines.   
  
"Hey, kid," she said to him with a friendly voice. "How ya doing?"   
  
Patrick wiped his shoulder-length hair out of his eyes with a small towel and said, "Sweating like a pig, actually. And yourself?"   
  
"You know just what to say to a girl, don't you?"   
  
"My mission in life, I suppose." He stood and stared at her expectantly, but when Kat didn't respond he said, "Well I've apparently grabbed your attention for some reason. So my charm worked - the world is all right again."   
  
He began to walk away from her, which caused Kat to lurch after him, blurting, "So I'll see you Friday night?"   
  
"I wasn't aware that I had asked you out."   
  
Kat attempted to be seductive and murmured, "I'll take you places you've never been."   
  
Patrick looked at Kat from head to toe, noting the rough and tumble gym uniform that Kat had put together. "Where, the parking lot at the 7-11? Do you even know my name?"   
  
"Of course I do - I know a lot about you," Kat responded, deciding not to take offense at his remark.   
  
"I doubt it," he replied before moving away from her towards the boy's locker room.   
  
Before the door could slam shut Kat called out, "Yeah, well you're no picnic either, Stratford."   
  
Nearby, Bianca and Mandella sat watching the entire scene play out in front of them. As the door slammed shut behind Patrick and Kat stomped off in a huff, Bianca turned to Mandella and groaned, "We're screwed!"   
  
Mandella shook her head, saying, "No no - I don't want to hear that defeatist attitude! I want to hear you upbeat!"   
  
Bianca's face broke into a pained smile as she perked up and cheered, "We're screwed!"   
  
  
  



	5. The One Where It's The Other Way Around,...

The One Where It's the Other Way Around  
Part Five: Losing Control  
  
  
Cameron walked on in Patrick as he washed his face before going to bed.   
  
He looked at Patrick's longish hair tucked into a ponytail and said, "Have you ever considered a new look? Even Jon Bon Jovi cut his hair into a more normal once the eighties ended. You could have some potential under that hair and all that hostility you carry around on your shoulders."   
  
"You know what I have potential for?" Patrick asked, putting his washcloth on the towel rack. "I have the potential to kick the crap out of you if you don't get out of my way."   
  
"You're such a jerk, Patrick. Truly." With that Cameron stalked out of the bathroom and into his bedroom, slamming the door behind him.   
  
* * *   
  
The next day after school Patrick left Michael to his own devices and headed downtown to the music store. Periodically he would go there to play on the Fender Strat guitar that he loved. He didn't have the money to buy it, but was slowly saving whatever money came his way in order to get it before it was time to leave for college.   
  
Parking his car right in front of the store, he went into the store and immediately drifted to the white Strat that was the guitar of his dreams. As he took the guitar down off the wall, the salesperson walked up to him and slapped him on the back. "How ya doin', Stratford?"   
  
"Hey, John. Just here to play for a bit - do you mind?" Patrick grinned sheepishly as he held the white Fender guitar close to him.   
  
John laughed and shook his head. "Patrick, that guitar is meant for you - I get offers on it and refuse them. It's a lot of money I'm turning down, but I know you want that guitar. So knock yourself out, play as long as you want." John pulled out a stool from the wall and set it down in the middle of the store. "Just keep the earphones plugged in, okay?"   
  
"Not a problem, John." After John walked away, Patrick set up the guitar and plugged the instrument in so that the music would only play through the set of headphones the store provided him. Patrick took a moment to just look at the guitar in all it's beauty - a reproduction of a 1956 Fender Strat. He strummed lightly against the strings, hearing the perfect pitch come from the tips of his fingers. The guitar was going to cost him over $2000 - a fortune that he felt was well worth it, considering the joy it would bring through hours of playing. He had half of the money saved up and hoped that his summer job would help him get the rest.   
  
For an hour he ran through the repertoire of songs he had taught himself, at some points grinning idiotically to himself as he immersed himself in the music. Finally he realized he needed to put up the guitar or else he'd be late for dinner, and so he took off the headphones and put the guitar back on the wall.   
  
He said his goodbyes to John and strolled out of the store, whistling to himself. He stopped abruptly, however, when he saw Kat Verona leaning casually against his Plymouth Duster.   
  
"Nice car, Stratford. Vintage Plymouth Duster - very cool."   
  
"Are you following me?" he asked irritably, digging into his pockets to retrieve his keys.   
  
"Nah, I was in the laundromat across the street and saw your car. I just thought I'd come over and say hi." Kat smiled sweetly, not moving from her perch on his car door.   
  
Patrick's mouth twitched with a tight smile as he approached his car, forcing Kat to move out of his way as he unlocked his car and opened the door. The car was hot so Patrick briskly cranked open the window. Getting in the driver's seat, he turned briefly to Kat and finally said with resentment, "Hi."   
  
Kat leaned down in the open window and smiled again. "Not much of a talker, are you?"   
  
"Depends on the topic. Generally my beat-up car doesn't whip me into a verbal frenzy." With that Patrick turned on his engine and flipped the gear into reverse. As he began backing up, however, Chastity Donner pulled up in her red convertible and blocked Patrick's car. Rather than parking in the spot next to Patrick's, Chastity put her car in park and got out, the radio still blaring. Patrick flipped up his parking brake and leaned out his window.   
  
"Do you mind?" Patrick asked icily, glaring at Chastity as she sauntered by.   
  
"Not at all," Chastity replied as she continued into the nail salon next door to the music store.   
  
With a quick growl, Patrick's eyes flared as he put his car back into reverse and promptly stepped on the gas, causing his car to lurch backwards and slam into Chastity's convertible.   
  
Kat gasped and then let out a loud laugh as Chastity came running out of the salon. "You bastard!" she cried as she rushed to her car, whose front left fender was now dangling from the car's crushed frame.   
  
"Oops!" he called out, his grin to Kat betraying how he really felt about the situation.   
  
* * *   
  
"Oops?" Mrs. Stratford screeched. "Is that all you can say, Patrick? You know, my insurance doesn't cover juvenile delinquency."   
  
"Then tell them I had a seizure or something."   
  
"Is this about New York University? Are you punishing me because I don't want you to attend school there?"   
  
"I thought you were punishing me," Patrick replied easily, "since you're making all my decisions for me."   
  
"That's my right as a parent, Patrick."   
  
"So does that mean that what I want doesn't matter at all?" Frustrated, Patrick put down the book he was pretending to read and stood up to pace the living room floor.   
  
"You're only eighteen," Mrs Stratford said. "For heaven's sake, you don't know what you want. You won't know what you want until you're forty-five and at that point even if you get it you'll be too old to use it."   
  
"Mom, I do know what I want," Patrick bellowed. "I want to go to NYU. I want to study music and film. I want you to trust me to make my own choices! I want you to stop controlling my life simply because you can't control yours. You know, Dad never would have treated me like this."   
  
Mrs. Stratford froze and stared at her son for a moment before saying, "That was cold, Patrick. Leave him out of this." Just then Mrs. Stratford's pager went off. "We'll continue this later, young man."   
  
"I'll be here," Patrick retorted rudely, throwing himself back onto the sofa.   
  
Just as Mrs. Stratford slammed out of the backdoor, Cameron ran into the living room to confront Patrick.   
  
"Did you maim Chastity's car today?"   
  
"Yeah. I guess you and your buddies are gonna have to start taking the bus." Patrick decided he wanted to be in his room and got up to go upstairs.   
  
Cameron blocked his path and bravely stuck a finger in his brother's face. "Has the fact that you are a complete psycho escaped everyone's attention?"   
  
Patrick looked pointedly at Cameron's finger before making menacing eye contract. Cameron snatched his finger back as Patrick brushed by and headed up the stairs two at a time.   
  
"Mom!" Cameron called out, moving towards the back door, hoping to catch his mom before she left for the clinic.   



	6. The One Where It's The Other Way Around,...

The One Where It's The Other Way Around, Part 6  
Female Solidarity  
  
Kat pushed her leather jacket into her locker before slamming the door shut. As she turned to go to class she was confronted by a furious Chastity Donner.   
  
"When I shell out fifty bucks, I expect results, Verona," she hissed.   
  
"I'm working on it."   
  
"Watching that jerk violate my car doesn't count as a date."   
  
Kat smiled. "I consider that a side bonus, actually."   
  
Chastity's brown eyes narrowed as she said, "Let me put it to you this way, if you don't get any action, I don't get any action. So get to work. NOW."   
  
Chastity began to walk away, but Kat called out, "I just upped my price."   
  
"What?" Chastity asked, turning in disbelief.   
  
"My price went up - one hundred bucks per date. In advance"   
  
"You're crazy, Verona. Forget it."   
  
"Then forget the brother."   
  
Chastity paused only a moment before coming back to Kat's side. She opened her purse and fished around for her wallet. Tearing it out of her bag she took out some bills and muttered, "You had better be a smooth as you seem to think you are."   
  
Kat simply took the bills with a sweet smile and jammed them in her back pocket.   
  
* * *   
  
Later that day Kat was in woodshop class when Bianca and Mandella approached her with caution. Kat recognized them as the two girls who had tried to talk to her a few days before. They cowered nearby for a few minutes, just staring at Kat as she hammered a table leg to the main frame.   
  
Finally Kat ripped off her safety goggles. "Say it."   
  
The girls looked to each other before one of them tentatively replied, "Say what?"   
  
Kat sighed impatiently. "Whatever it is you want to say to me."   
  
The other girl stepped forward and stuck out her hand, "Hi, I'm Bianca. This is Mandella."   
  
Kat stared at the hand but didn't shake it. She nodded briefly at Mandella and then looked at Bianca again. Kat could tell from one glance that Bianca had no business being in the woodshop class, so obviously whatever she wanted to talk about was important in some way.   
  
Kat turned back to her table leg, saying "And what do you want, Bianca?"   
  
Encouraged, Mandella came up next to Kat and said, "We wanted to talk to you about the plan."   
  
"What plan?"   
  
"Well, the situation is this," Mandella said. "My girl Bianca here has a real jones for Cameron Stratford."   
  
Kat rolled her eyes. The Stratfords. "What is it with this kid? Does he blow his nose with twenties or something?"   
  
Bianca began to defend Cameron, but Mandella held up her hand quickly and replied, "I think I speak correctly when I say that Bianca's love is pure. Purer than say -- Chastity Donner's."   
  
"Look," Kat said, picking up her screwdriver and a couple of screws from her desk. "Donner can pretty much do anyone she wants. I'm just in it for the cash."   
  
Bianca sucked in a big breath and sputtered indignantly. Again Mandella interjected, saying, "That's where we can help you. With Patrick Stratford."   
  
"So Donner can get the young buck?"   
  
"You need to look at the bigger picture, Kat. Chastity is just a pawn. We set this whole thing up so Bianca can get the boy."   
  
At this twist, Kat smiled unexpected at Mandella and Bianca. The thought of messing with Chastity's plan was appealing.   
  
"You two little girls are gonna help me tame the wild beast?"   
  
"We'll help you out - we'll do research on Patrick. We're your girls!" Mandella crowed, putting her arm around Bianca's shoulders.   
  
"But," Bianca finally managed to croak, "she means that in a strictly non-women's prison sort of way."   
  
Mandella brought out a piece of paper and showed it to Kat. "This is the perfect opportunity. There's going to be a party on Saturday night - you can ask Patrick to go with you to the party.   
  
"All right, girls," Kat said, putting her goggles back over her eyes in order to finish putting together her table. She held up her screwdriver and stared at it for a moment before continuing, "You're on. Let's put the screws to Chastity Donner."   
  
Mandella grinned as she looked down at the flyer in her hands. "Time for a little payback!"   
  
* * *   
  
Later that day Bianca and Mandella stood in the center staircase of Padua High holding hundreds of colorful flyers in their hand. Bianca looked at the one on top of her stack. Where it had once read "Wine and Cheese Party for Future MBAs", it now read "Major Beer Bash for All Padua Students". The party was being hosted by Bogey Lowenstein, the senior who had displaced Mandella as president of the Investors Club.   
  
Bianca looked doubtfully at Mandella and said, "Are you sure this is gonna work?"   
  
Mandella grinned gleefully as she clutched a handful over the large staircase. "It's going to be the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."   
  
With that, she threw the flyers down the stairwell and leaned over to watch dozens of colorful flyers drift slowly down through the stairwell, hands reaching out to grab them as they went by. Bianca paused only a moment before tossing her entire stack over the rail.   
  
  
  
  



	7. The One Where It's The Other Way Around,...

The One Where It's The Other Way Around   
Chapter Seven: Likes and Dislikes  
  
Chastity held up two black and white glossy photos in front of Cameron. In one she was wearing white blouse and posing suggestively. In the other she was wearing a black blouse and in the same suggestive pose.   
  
Cameron looked at them, then said, "I think I like the white blouse better - it really makes your lovely dark skin look...lovely." He smiled sheepishly.   
  
"Yes, yes," Chastity said. "It looks more..."   
  
"Expensive?"   
  
"Exactly!" Chastity put the pictures in her notebook and then asked, "So, are you going to Bogey Lowenstein's party this weekend?"   
  
"Hopefully!"   
  
"Well, I hope you do, because I won't bother if you won't be there." Chastity let loose with her brightest and most flirtatious smile. Then she reached up and ran a finger down one side of Cameron's face, brushing past his lips ever so softly.   
  
Cameron's breath stalled in his chest as he felt himself turn beet red at Chastity's attention. He wanted to go to that party.   
  
* * *   
  
After school Cameron walked into the library and sat down opposite from Bianca. "Have you heard about Bogey Lowenstein's party?"   
  
Bianca nodded, saying, "Yeah, I think I have a flyer in my bag."   
  
"Well, I really really want to go, but I can't unless my brother Patrick goes."   
  
"I'm working on that, Cameron. Truly I am. But he doesn't seem to be going for my friend. Say - he's not..." she didn't finish her sentence.   
  
Cameron looked blankly at her before rushing to say, "No, no! No, I found a picture of Cindy Crawford in one of his desk drawers, so I'm pretty sure he's not harboring same-sex tendencies."   
  
"So that's the kind of girl he likes? Drop dead gorgeous?"   
  
"Nah, I don't think looks matter too much. I did hear him say once he would never date a girl that smokes."   
  
Bianca wrote that down in her notebook, then asked, "What else?"   
  
"Geez, Bianca, I don't know." He thought for a moment. "Well, actually, I did see a pair of tickets to some concert on Friday night. I think the band was playing at Club Skunk."   
  
"Great! I think this is good for now, but go ahead and tell me a couple other things."   
  
* * *   
  
That night Bianca and Mandella drove downtown to a pool hall where Kat had told them to meet her. Opening the front door they were assailed with angry rock music and the stench of beer. Bianca was scared to death, and Mandella feigned a carefree attitude as she looked around for Kat. Spotting her playing pool in the back, Mandella grabbed Bianca's arm and all but dragged her along.   
  
Kat took a shot on the pool table but missed and deferred to her opponent. She took a sip from her glass as she watched Bianca and Mandella approach. It was obvious they were more than a little nervous to be in the bar. "What have you got for me, ladies?"   
  
Mandella grinned. "We've found out some information that will be very helpful in your pursuit of Patrick Stratford."   
  
Kat grunted indelicately as she lit a cigarette. She then picked up her drink and took another sip.   
  
Mandella looked pointedly at the glass. "First of all, should you be drinking that when you don't have a liver?"   
  
"What?!"   
  
"Nothing, never mind." Mandella looked to Bianca.   
  
Bianca took out a piece of paper from her purse and gave it to Kat. "Number One," she said, "Patrick hates smokers."   
  
Kat released the smoke she had just inhaled in her lungs. With distaste she said, "You mean I'm a non-smoker?"   
  
Mandella shrugged regretfully. "Sorry, Kat. It's just for now."   
  
Bianca continued with the list, saying "Patrick also likes really beautiful women."   
  
Kat straightened up menacingly, her combat boots making her several inches taller than Bianca and Mandella. "Are you saying I'm not beautiful?"   
  
Bianca and Mandella each looked more closely at Kat, her long blond hair cascading down her back, her porcelain skin free of makeup, her blue eyes sparkling. She's actually quite attractive, Bianca thought suddenly.   
  
Mandella was sputtering at her side. "Of course you're beautiful, Kat. What's not to love here!"   
  
Kat watched Mandella for a moment to see if she was joking before turning back to Bianca. "Anything else?"   
  
"You know - typical things. Thai food, Kurt Vonnegut novels, and angry thrash skater punk music."   
  
"So what, I buy him noodles, talk about 'Cat's Cradle' and listen to Henry Rollins?"   
  
Bianca brought out a small ticket that she had bought earlier in the evening at Club Skunk. "One more thing."   
  
Kat took the ticket, looking at the listing. "Oh no," she groaned.   
  
"You have to go to that concert on Friday night. He'll be there."   
  
"I can't go to Club Skunk, girls."   
  
"You have to."   
  
"All right fine, I'll go. But this is so not what I signed up for!"   



	8. The One Where It's The Other Way Around,...

TOWITOWA, Part 8: Club Skunk  
  
Kat stared into the mirror, debating whether or not to actually go to Club Skunk. She already had the money from Chastity, so it's not like she had to go. Kat ran a brush through her long blond hair before tying it back into a low ponytail. She tried to picture the reaction of the bouncer when she arrived at the entrance to the club. If it was the same one from years ago, there was no doubt he'd laugh and recognize her.  
  
During Kat's sophomore year she had been dared to get into the club with a fake i.d. The i.d. had been a poor fake, and the bouncer had actually laughed and showed it to other clubbers as an example of what not to use as a fake i.d. She had been so mortified that she ran away without bothering to get it back. To her dismay, she later found out that the bouncer had framed the i.d. and placed it right by the front entrance of the club, so that people would forever see her picture smiling back at them as an example of teenaged stupidity.  
  
Dropping her brush onto her dresser with disgust, Kat turned away from the mirror, hoping to dispel the mental image. She mumbled a brief prayer that the framed i.d. had been removed in the two years since she had been there - and better yet, that the bouncer no longer worked there.  
  
"And why am I doing this again?" Kat asked herself out loud, sitting on the edge of her bed to slip on her Doc Marten boots.  
  
With that question, Patrick Stratford popped into her mind, causing her mouth to tilt upwards into a small smile. Kat admitted to herself that while the money she was being paid by Chastity Donner was worth it, she couldn't help feeling a mild attraction to the aloof and intriguing Patrick anyway. Earlier in the week she had approached him during gym class and he had completely rebuffed her. Kat liked that. Then outside the music store she could practically see him tense up when he saw her lounging on his car. Kat liked that even more.  
  
Glancing at her watch she noted that the band to perform at Club Skunk would probably be close to their set time. Now or never, she thought to herself, grabbing up her wallet and stuffing it into the back pocket of her respectably baggy jeans. With mild despair she took the pack of cigarettes from her other back pocket and threw them into the trash can.  
  
Running down the stairs she yelled out "I'm leaving I'll be home late!" to whoever might be around to hear her. Not waiting for an answer (she usually didn't get one from parents too caught up in their own worlds to notice her comes and goings), she slammed out of the front door and got into her car. Not wanting to pause for a moment in case she changed her mind, she rammed her key into the ignition and pulled out of the driveway to go to Club Skunk.  
  
* * *  
  
"I'm so excited!" Michael exclaimed. "I love this band!"  
  
Patrick smiled as he picked up his bottled water to take a sip. The club was packed from wall to wall with hundreds of kids waiting for Living Sacrifice to take the stage. A death metal band with a hopeful message in their lyrics, the band's roadies were just finishing the equipment check on the small stage near the back wall of the club. Patrick had been a fan of Living Sacrifice for a few years, having discovered them in his freshman year at Padua High.  
  
Patrick grinned at Michael, who was practically giddy with excitement. It was rare for Michael to speak highly of anything other than Shakespeare, so this was praise that Patrick didn't take lightly.  
  
"Maybe we can stay after and talk to the band a bit," Patrick enthused, giving in to his own excitement. This was his fourth time seeing the band play live, and he was looking forward to what he knew would be a good show.  
  
Just then over the loudspeaker they heard, "All right folks, are you ready for the band you've been waiting for? Here they are without further ado - Living Sacrifice!"  
  
The crowd lurched toward the stage in anticipation as the strobe lights began swirling around them. Patrick stayed where he was near the bar, content not to be involved in the mosh pit that would form as soon as the first chord was played.  
  
The band took the stage and without a word leapt into one of their more popular songs, "Reborn", causing the audience to cheer and begin 'dancing' with glee.  
  
Patrick watched as Michael tentatively moved into the pulsating crowd, moving back and forth as they undulated with the band's hard-driving metal riffs. Patrick kept his place on his barstool, nodding his head to the beat and watching the band from his slightly higher vantage point.  
  
At the end of the first song he clapped along with everyone else, and cheered on the band members with encouragement. When they launched into their next song, Patrick turned completely away from the stage and sat facing the bar. Turning to look down the counter he plainly saw a girl standing a few feet away, attempting to order something from the busy bartender.  
  
It was Kat Verona.  
  
Patrick motioned to Dave, the bartender, who immediately came over. "Get that girl a bottled water, okay?" he requested loudly, gesturing toward Kat.  
  
"Sure thing, Patrick," Dave shouted, taking the five dollar bill that Patrick held out for him.  
  
Moments later Kat was at Patrick's side, icy bottle in hand. She leaned over and yelled into his ear, "Thanks for this!"  
  
Patrick merely nodded curtly, turning slightly in his seat to face her. She looked different than she normally did, despite wearing her typical uniform of jeans and boots with a plain t-shirt. He gazed into her face, which was covered in a slick sheen from the intense humidity of the dank club. She looked like she was enjoying herself despite being one of the few females in the club.  
  
"You like this band?" he finally yelled, leaning down close enough that she could hear him. As his lips accidentally brushed her ear, he couldn't help but notice her hair smelled like honey.  
  
Feeling a mild tingle in her belly as he quickly straightened away from her, she gushed, "Oh yeah! I've been a fan of theirs for years."  
  
Sensing an opportunity, Kat allowed herself to be pushed closer to Patrick by the people behind her. With seeming innocence, she brought a hand down on his arm in an attempt to get some balance. She conveniently left it there once she was firmly implanted against him and began watching the band on stage.  
  
"You're not fooling anyone, Verona," Patrick finally shouted, looking pointedly at her hand on his arm.  
  
"What do you mean?" Kat asked, deliberately misunderstanding him. "I really am a fan of Living Sacrifice. I have all their cds."  
  
"Look, if you plan on asking me out again, you may as well get it over with."  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"That's why you're here, right?"  
  
Taking her hand back from his arm, Kat leaned over and yelled back, "Do you mind? I appreciate you buying me the water and all, but you keep interrupting my enjoyment of the show."  
  
Realizing finally why she looked different, Patrick observed, "You're not surrounded by your usual cloud of smoke."  
  
Just then the band finished their third song and announced a brief break so that the drummer could replace his bass drum, which had a huge hole in it from his rambunctious playing.  
  
Kat sighed and said in a normal volume, "I've heard it's bad for you, so I quit."  
  
Patrick considered this for a moment, mildly surprised. He took a thoughtful sip from his bottle of water.  
  
Without hesitation Kat said, "You look good on that barstool, Stratford. Very relaxed, which is rare for you."  
  
Patrick let out an easygoing smile, causing Kat's heart to flutter briefly as his eyes began to sparkle. "Let's just say this band brings out the best in me."  
  
Just then the band took back the stage and began another song, requiring Kat to lean against Patrick again in order to scream, "Come to Bogey's party with me."  
  
"What?" Patrick hollered, thinking for a moment that she had invited him to Bogey Lowenstein's party.  
  
"Bogey's party," she repeated for him. "You and me, wreaking havoc. Let's say, nine o'clock?"  
  
"You don't give up, do you?" he finally asked.  
  
Kat shook her head, grinning at him so that a dimple in her cheek came into play.  
  
Patrick merely laughed and shook his head.  
  
"Is that a yes?" she inquired saucily.  
  
"No."  
  
"Is that a no?"  
  
Patrick waited a beat, then said, "No."  
  
Kat stood back from him for a moment, just looking into his eyes. Then her grin softened into a gentle smile and she just nodded at him before moving away from his side.  
  
* * *  
  
"Thanks for taking down the picture, man," Kat said to the bouncer she remembered from two years prior as she left the club.  
  
"Well, when you didn't come back so I could rub it in, it wasn't fun after a while. But I remembered you as soon as you walked up tonight."  
  
"Yeah, well, I appreciate you letting me in this time."  
  
The large man laughed and said, "Well, this happens to be an all-ages show, so you would have gotten in anyway. But I'm glad you had a better i.d. this time."  
  
* * *  
  
For the rest of the Living Sacrifice show, Patrick kept looking for Kat, but he didn't see her again that night. But he kept on looking.  



	9. The One Where It's The Other Way Around,...

Chapter Nine: A Surprise Concession   
  
  
Cameron and Joey stood at the bottom of the stairs, hearing Patrick's obnoxious music emanate through the walls from his room on the second floor.   
  
"I don't think he's going," Cameron groaned despairingly.   
  
Joey was about to respond when Cameron's mother came walking from the kitchen, a large plate containing a sandwich in one hand.   
  
"Hey, Mom, I -"   
  
"What are you two doing?" Mrs. Stratford asked suspiciously.   
  
"Well, if you must know, we're meeting with a small study group of friends."   
  
Mrs. Stratford's gaze narrowed slightly. "Otherwise known as an orgy?" she accused.   
  
Cameron sighed dramatically. "It's just a party, Mom. Everyone's going to be there and -" Cameron cut his words off when Patrick came down the stairs and moved toward the kitchen. " - Attila the Hun over there won't go, but I shouldn't be penalized because of it."   
  
"Patrick," Mrs. Stratford said. "Do you know anything about a party tonight?"   
  
Patrick shrugged and continued into the kitchen.   
  
"Mom, everyone expects me to be there."   
  
"Cameron, you know the rules. If your brother doesn't go, you don't go."   
  
Cameron turned on Patrick, who had come back into the foyer with an apple in his hand. "You are such a jerk!" he fumed. "You are ruining my life because you aren't normal!"   
  
"What's normal?" Patrick asked, shrugged again just to irritate his brother.   
  
"Bogey Lowenstein's party is normal, but you're too busy being a bastard to know that."   
  
Deciding to ignore the mild curse word from her younger son, Mrs. Stratford merely inquired, "What a Bogey Lowenstein?"   
  
Continuing to glare at Patrick, Cameron pleaded, "Can't you forget for just one night that you're completely wretched and go to the party?"   
  
Patrick grimaced before finally admitting, "I know about the stupid party, and I thought I'd go ahead and put in a brief appearance."   
  
As Cameron and Joey took in this information and began hooting and slapping high-fives, Mrs. Stratford noticeably paled and muttered, "Oh no, it's starting."   
  
Cameron briefly hugged his mom, saying "It's just a party, Mom."   
  
Mrs. Stratford measured her son's expression for a moment, then said, "You have to wear the belly."   
  
Cameron gasped in dismay, taking a quick step back from her. "Mom, no. Joey is here!"   
  
"Only for a few minutes," she said as she ran to the front hall closet and wrenched open the door. "Just around the foyer for a few minutes."   
  
Cameron looked stricken as he closed his eyes in shame.   
  
Mrs. Stratford came out of the closet holding a large vest with a distended stomach hanging in front. Joey stifled a laugh as his friend's mom walked over to Cameron and forced him to place his arms through the vest so that the stomach hung in front of him.   
  
"I just want you to think responsibly and weigh every decision. If you don't, you might impregnate girls and this is what they have to go through."   
  
Cameron moaned, "You are so mentally unbalanced."   
  
Patrick threw out the core of the apple he just finished. "Can we go now?"   
  
Mrs. Stratford quickly moved nearer the front door, saying "All right, wait a minute. No drinking. No drugs. No kissing. No tattoos. No piercings. No ritual animal slaughters of any kind." She took a deep breath. "And one more thing," she added. "Cameron, don't talk to any girls without Patrick around."   
  
"Why?" he asked, squirming in the uncomfortable vest he was still wearing.   
  
"Because Patrick will scare them away."   
  
At this comment, a mildly annoyed Patrick flung open the front door, only to find Kat Verona standing there, her finger about the press the doorbell.   
  
"Nine o'clock, right?" she asked, her cheeks flushing slightly as she smiled up at him.   
  
Despite himself, Patrick felt some pleasure at seeing her at his door, although he concealed it behind a well-placed scowl.   
  
"I know," she continued. "I'm a bit early."   
  
Patrick held up his keys. "I'm driving," he said curtly, moving past her and away from the door he left open.   
  
Kat peeked in the open door and saw the younger brother Cameron standing there. "When did your brother get so fat?"   



	10. The One Where It's The Other Way Around,...

As soon as they arrived at the party, Patrick ditched Kat and made his way to the kitchen where the beer was. He didn't normally drink - he swore off drinking during his freshman year - but tonight he felt it was deserved. He didn't see any other way he could make it through this night.   
  
He spent a good portion of his time just walking around, not bothering to speak to anyone (everyone seemed inclined to do nothing more than get out of his way in any case). He periodically took swigs from his beer bottle, choosing occasionally to swallow a shot of tequila as it came by on a fancy tray. Bogey Lowenstein was throwing a hell of a party.   
  
It looked as though everyone from the senior class was there - and there were also many underclass students as well. From time to time Patrick saw Cameron and Joey mingling with kids, laughing and having a good time. He couldn't help but feel protective and tried to keep an eye on Cameron so that he'd stay out of trouble.   
  
"Well, well, well," Patrick heard a feminine voice purr behind him. Whirling around he found Chastity Donner approaching, a wicked smile on her face as she sidled closer to him. "What have we here?"   
  
"Hey what was that - did a wrinkle just pop up on your forehead?" he asked sarcastically, deliberately staring at her smooth forehead.   
  
Chastity panicked for a moment, her hand going up to her hairline. She restrained herself from taking out her compact to inspect.   
  
Patrick began to turn away, so Chastity murmured, "Where ya going?"   
  
"Away," Patrick gritted out, every nerve in his body tightened into knots at being near his arch-nemesis.   
  
"Your brother here?" Chastity asked, glancing around the living room.   
  
Patrick whirled back to confront her. "You leave my brother alone."   
  
Chastity smirked. "And why should I do that?"   
  
Patrick was just about to tell her why when two fellow seniors began arguing loudly and one took a swing at the other.   
  
Chastity cooed with excitement and called out, "Fight!" As she moved to follow the two fighting boys, Cameron came by her to watch the fisticuffs.   
  
"Well, speak of the devil," Chastity said, flashing her brightest smile at Cameron. She put her arm through his and began to lead him away.   
  
Patrick reached out and grabbed Cameron's other arm, pulling him abruptly aside. "Look, Cameron, there's something I need to tell you."   
  
"Save it, man. I don't need you bringing me down while I'm having a good time. You're not my social director."   
  
With that Cameron jerked his arm loose from Patrick's grasp and quickly moved next to Chastity and escorted her to another room.   
  
Patrick sighed heavily and grabbed a full shot glass from a tray as it floated by. He quickly sucked it down and managed to grab another glass before the tray was completely out of reach.   
  
As Patrick was about to down the next shot, Kat came up to him, frowning and saying, "What's this?" with a pointed glance at the shot glass.   
  
Patrick held up the glass and mocked, "I'm getting trashed, girlfriend. Isn't that you're supposed to do at a party?"   
  
Kat shrugged and said, "I say, whatever you want to do, man."   
  
"Yeah, well, you're the only one." He downed the second shot and wiped his mouth as the tequila burned the back of his throat.   
  
* * *   
  
Bianca and Mandella took their rounds through the rooms at Bogey's house, and Bianca managed to find only a handful of people she knew. Mandella was trying desperately to chat up some boys, to no avail.   
  
Bianca's heart sagged as she realized there was no way she'd find Cameron in the throng of students piled into Bogey's house.   
  
She felt Mandella's hand on her back, nudging her. "What?" she asked.   
  
Mandella's head jerked in the direction just over Bianca's left shoulder, and she said, "Follow the love, my friend."   
  
Bianca turned and saw Cameron and his friend Joey standing near the stairs, talking to each other. With a quick smile at Mandella, she made her way over to Cameron.   
  
* * *   
  
"Where is she?" Joey asked impatiently, looking around the room.   
  
"Who?" Cameron asked, smiling at a classmate walking by.   
  
"Chastity."   
  
Cameron was about the respond when Bianca stepped in front of him and said shyly, "Hey there, Cameron."   
  
"Hey there, Bianca. Looks like your plan worked like a charm, huh?"   
  
Bianca smiled beatifically at him.   
  
"Oh, Bianca, this is my friend Joey. Joey, this is Bianca."   
  
Joey smiled half-heartedly at Bianca, nodding without saying anything.   
  
"I think we share an art instructor," Bianca said engagingly.   
  
"Great," Joey said in a tone that suggested anything but.   
  
"Hey Bianca, would you mind getting me a drink?" Cameron asked.   
  
"Sure! What do you want?"   
  
"Surprise me," he smiled.   
  
Bianca turned away and headed into the kitchen, not seeing Chastity approach Cameron and lead him away into another room, Joey sulking along behind them.   
  
When she came back to the foot of the stairs with a cold soda, she only found Mandella with a sad look in her eye. "Extremely rude maneuver," she said, gesturing to where Cameron and Chastity stood chatting in a corner.   
  
"I'm an idiot," Bianca lamented, putting the unopened soda on one of the stairs. "He doesn't want me at all. He wants Chastity Donner. I'm such an idiot!"   
  
Mandella patted Bianca's shoulder before saying, "Well, at least you're self-aware!"   
  
* * *   
  
"So I've got a summer shoewear gig lined up that's going to be huge."   
  
Cameron tried to look excited, but couldn't quite muster it. Frankly, he was discovering that Chastity Donner liked talking about one thing and one thing only: herself.   
  
"Neat," he finally said.   
  
Unaware of his boredom, Chastity continued, "The best thing, though, is that I'll probably be working the runways next year - my agent said that the Elite Agency is very interested in my portfolio."   
  
When Chastity waved at someone over his shoulder, Cameron quickly seized his opportunity and said, "I'll be right back," before scuttling away from his captor. Finding Joey, he complained, "Is it just me or does this party all of a sudden suck?"   
  
* * *   
  
Kat tried to take away the shot glass from Patrick. If her calculations were correct, he had three beers and five shots of tequila. Not a good mix.   
  
"Let me have that," she urged, reaching for the glass one more time.   
  
"Get your own, dammit," Patrick muttered, keeping his glass well out of her reach.   
  
Kat sighed in exasperation, hands on hips as she perused a very drunk Patrick Stratford. "That's not fair," she said, "You're taller than me."   
  
Patrick managed a slurry grin, his eyes at half mast.   
  
Very sexy eyes, I might add, Kat thought to herself.   
  
She felt a hand on her arm and turned and found Chastity Donner grinning at her. Kat allowed herself to be led away from Patrick, but turned so she could watch him as he half-stumbled into the dining room, which was being used as a dance floor.   
  
"A deal is a deal," Chastity crowed, slipping some bills into Kat's hand. "I don't know how you did it, but I'm impressed."   
  
"Impressed with what?" Kat asked as she impatiently pushed the money into her back pocket.   
  
"He's almost acting like a human," Chastity replied, nodding in Patrick's direction.   
  
Kat glanced over towards Patrick again and found him climbing onto the dining room table as a new thumping track began playing.   
  
Chastity crowed with delight and began laughing at Patrick as she moved toward him. She looked back at Kat with a wide grin on her face, at Patrick's expense.   
  
Kat rushed to the edge of the dining room table and glared up at Patrick who was dancing by himself, completely oblivious to the fact that he was basically doing a table dance for his fellow students.   
  
Suddenly he straightened up and in doing so banged his head sharply on the chandelier hanging just next to his head. Kat gasped as he began a slow descent to his knees, and she caught him as he slumped over in her direction.   
  
The crowd applauded, thinking this was part of the act. Horrified at his accident, Kat managed to drag his heavy body from the table and out into the backyard, where she plopped his body into a lawn chair.   
  
Kat slapped him gently on the face, saying, "Patrick? Can you hear me?"   
  
Patrick moaned and knocked her hand away, muttering, "Yeah yeah yeah. I'm fine."   
  
His head wobbled to the side and Kat said, "You are anything but fine right now, young man."   
  
Patrick moved to get out of the chair and slurred, "I just need to lie down for a while."   
  
Kat held him up, not allowing him to pour himself onto the ground. "You fall asleep, honey, you may not wake up."   
  
She propped him back into the chair and bit back a smile when he grinned boozily at her. Nice smile, she thought, He should flash it more often.   
  
From behind Kat heard, "We need to talk."   
  
Kat turned and saw Bianca standing there, in an obvious sulk.   
  
"I don't have time right now, Bianca," Kat retorted, gesturing towards Patrick. "I'm a little busy."   
  
"It's off. The deal's off."   
  
Just then Patrick's head flopped back, his eyes closed, mouth open. Kat reached behind his head and ran her fingers into his thick hair, bringing his head forward to a more natural position. At the same time she said to Bianca, "What are you talking about?"   
  
"He wants Chastity, not me. So forget about the whole thing."   
  
Exasperated, Kat let go of Patrick's head and moved over to Bianca, grabbing the younger girl by both shoulders. "Do you like the boy, Bianca?"   
  
Bianca nodded glumly, eyes downcast.   
  
"Then go get him. Don't let anyone make you feel like you don't deserve what you want."   
  
Bianca looked up at Kat, seeing the earnestness in her eyes. Then Kat let her go and went back to Patrick's side, kneeling beside his chair and softly slapping his face to wake him up.   
  
Kat was oblivious to Bianca as she stood Patrick up, feeling his knees wobble as he leaned heavily against her. "Come on, buddy boy, we need to get you walking."   
  
"That's so patronizing," he protested mildly.   
  
"Leave it you to you use multi-syllabic words even when you're drunk."   
  
Kat spotted a pair of swings in the backyard and led him in that general direction.   
  
"Why are you being so nice to me?" Patrick asked, trying to focus on each step he took.   
  
"I told you," Kat replied easily, enjoying the feel of Patrick's arm as it wound around her waist.   
  
"You don't care if I die!" he proclaimed as Kat settled him into one of the swings.   
  
"Sure I do," Kat countered, sitting in the other swing next to him.   
  
"Why?"   
  
"Well, because then I'd have to go after guys that actually liked me."   
  
"As if you could find one," Patrick said cruelly.   
  
Kat merely laughed and said, "See - there's that. Who needs affection when I have blind hatred?"   
  
Kat looked over just in time to see Patrick pitch backwards in the swing and dove to catch him before his head hit the hard ground below.   
  
"You're like a weeble!" Kat said. Pausing a moment she finally asked, "Why do you let her get to you?"   
  
"Who?"   
  
"Chastity Donner."   
  
"Ugh. I hate her."   
  
"I can tell. She must have done something pretty bad to make you mainline tequila all night. You don't seem the type to do that. I figured you were above all that."   
  
"Well, you know what they say -" Patrick never finished his phrase, his head dipping against the chains holding him in the swing. His eyes were closed and it was obvious to Kat that he had passed out.   
  
She rushed up from her swing and grabbed Patrick's shoulders, standing in between his legs as she held onto him and shook. "No no no, sweetie, you have to stay awake."   
  
Patrick's eyes popped open and he stared up at her. "What?"   
  
Kat sighed with relief, smiling down at him. Patrick smiled back, taking note of the sparkle in her eyes. "You have pretty eyes. They have a little bit of green in them."   
  
Without saying anything further, Patrick suddenly lurched out of the swing and puked on Kat's shoes.   
  
"How romantic," Kat muttered.   



	11. The One Where It's The Other Way Around,...

Cameron and Joey stood outside Bogey's house, trying to determine how they would get home. Chastity appeared at Cameron's side, and linking her arm through his said, "A bunch of us are heading over to Mona's house for a while. You wanna come?"   
  
Cameron groaned inwardly, but said, "Uh, I have to be home in twenty minutes."   
  
Joey perked up and smiled brightly at Chastity, saying, "I don't have to be home anytime soon."   
  
Chastity turned and smiled at Joey, releasing Cameron's arm and taking Joey's instead.   
  
"Well then let's go," she purred, taking Joey and leaving Cameron where he stood.   
  
Cameron just stood in shock as Joey walked away, not even saying goodbye. He couldn't believe his friend would just ditch him like that.   
  
Just then Bianca came out of the house and brushed past Cameron, saying accusingly, "Have fun tonight?"   
  
"Tons," Cameron answered dejectedly. He watched her a moment before calling, "Hey Bianca?"   
  
Bianca turned and looked at him, not saying a word.   
  
"Do you think you can give me a ride home?" he asked.   
  
Bianca considered for a moment, before nodding at him and waving him in the direction of her car.   
  
* * *   
  
Kat climbed into the driver's seat of Patrick's ancient car, marveling at how clean it was despite it's age.   
  
Patrick slammed the passenger door closed and immediately flipped on the radio after Kat started the engine. "If you're driving, I'm picking the tunes." He plugged in a tape.   
  
Kat cringed as Living Sacrifice began blaring from the top-notch sound system. Kat reached over and ejected the tape, flipping quickly to a mellow radio station.   
  
Patrick grunted in protest and popped the tape back in. "It's my car."   
  
Kat raised an eyebrow and popped out the tape, saying, "And I'm driving it."   
  
Patrick stubbornly put the tape back in the player but conceded and turned it down. "But it's Living Sacrifice, I thought you liked them."   
  
Kat, who had no desire to argue, let the music continue to play.   
  
They drove in silence for a moment, Kat navigating in the general direction of Patrick's house.   
  
"Hey," Patrick said softly, turning slightly in his seat to face Kat. "Where were you last year when you weren't in school?"   
  
Kat stiffened slightly before answering, "I was busy."   
  
"Were you in jail? Because everyone thinks you were in jail."   
  
Kat smiled and said without guile, "Maybe."   
  
Patrick considered the pretty blond at his side, then replied, "Nah, you weren't in jail."   
  
"Then why did you ask?"   
  
"Why did you lie?"   
  
Instead of answering, feeling slightly guilty for the few lies she had told him already, she turned up the music to diminish his ability to ask more questions.   
  
Patrick bobbed his head up and down for a few moments before pointing at the radio and saying, "I should do this."   
  
"Do what?"   
  
"This! Start a band! My mother would love that!" he finished sarcastically.   
  
Kat studied him out of the corner of her eye, saying "You don't seem like the type to need permission for anything."   
  
Patrick challenged, "So now you think you know me?"   
  
"I'm starting to," Kat responded, turning the car onto Patrick's block.   
  
The fight taken out of him for the moment, Patrick muttered, "The only thing people know about me is that I'm 'scary'."   
  
As Kat parked the car in Patrick's driveway she looked over at him. He looked anything but scary right now, his head leaning back against the headrest, his eyes glittering sadly even in the darkness. She tried to hide a smile as she said, "Yeah, well I'm no picnic either."   
  
They shared a moment of silence at their discovery of a connection before Kat broke it by pointing at Patrick's house, asking, "What's up with your mom? Pain in the butt?"   
  
Patrick sat up straight. "She just wants me to be something I'm not."   
  
"Who?"   
  
Patrick snorted. "Cameron."   
  
Kat nodded, then said, "You know, no offense, I know everyone digs your brother and all that, but I think he's 'without'."   
  
Patrick stared at Kat, a newfound admiration plain on his face in the dark car. "You know, you're not as bitchy as I thought you were." His mouth curved into a soft smile, and he leaned close to Kat as though to kiss her.   
  
Kat, suddenly nervous and a little guilty about the false pretenses under which she asked him out, leaned back and blurted out, "So, I'll see you in school on Monday."   
  
Patrick quickly moved away, his eyes now burning in anger. Grabbing the door handle he wrenched open his door and scrambled out of the car as fast as his rubbery legs would allow. Without another word he slammed the door shut and stomped off and slammed into his house.   
  
Kat sighed and tucked Patrick's keys under his car seat and got out of his car. Walking over to her own car parked on the street, she was sad and shocked at the realization that she wanted to kiss Patrick, but only when he was sober and absolutely knew he wanted to kiss her. This was just supposed to be a money gig, she thought bitterly. Why am I falling for him?   
  
* * *   
  
Bianca drove silently in the direction of Cameron's house. They were both in lousy moods due to the fiasco of Bogey's party. Finally Bianca said, "So I looked for you at the party but you always seem occupied."   
  
"Really?" Cameron asked disinterestedly.   
  
Upset, Bianca said, "You never actually wanted to go out with me, did you?"   
  
Cameron didn't answer at first, then said quietly, "Well, no..."   
  
Bianca became even more upset and said, "Well then that's all you had to say, Cameron. Man, have you always been this selfish?"   
  
At this accusation, Cameron thought for a moment and finally admitted, "I suppose I have."   
  
Bianca parked angrily at the end of Cameron's driveway. "You know, just because you are gorgeous, it doesn't mean you can treat people like they don't matter."   
  
Cameron looked over at Bianca, taking note of how her temper brought color to her cheeks and fire to her eyes. Suddenly he leaned in towards her and kissed her, his lips moving gently across hers for a few moments before he pulled back. He smiled, then got out of the car without another word. Bianca just stared mutely as him as he walked up the driveway and quietly went into his house.   
  
Bianca suddenly felt hot all over and a huge grin came over her pert features. "And I'm back in the game!" she crowed victoriously as she threw the car back into gear and drove away.   



	12. The One Where It's The Other Way Around,...

On Monday Patrick walked into his English class, hoping not to be noticed. All day long he had been razzed by classmates about his dance fever at Bogey's party. By the time English rolled around he was in no mood to hear about it again.   
  
One of the stoner girls grinned lasciviously at him and held out a dollar bill, saying, "Another lap dance, Patrick?"   
  
Patrick merely snarled in response and sat at his desk, trying to hold his head up high. From behind him in another row he heard Chastity Donner's voice. "Nice moves this weekend, Stratford. You were on fire."   
  
Choosing to ignore her, he flipped open his textbook as the bell rang and Mr. Morgan approached his podium at the front of class. Mr. Morgan was one of the younger teachers at Padua High, a hip African-American who didn't take crap from his students, thus gaining their respect and admiration for his straight-forward, progressive manner of teaching.   
  
"How was everybody's weekend?" he asked.   
  
"Maybe you should be asking Stratford," Chastity called out, giggling with one of her friends nearby. "Or maybe Kat - ask her."   
  
Mr. Morgan cast an evil eye on Kat Verona as she walked in late for class and slipped into her seat near the door. He had noticed Patrick stiffen up at Kat's name and decided it was best to move on to the lesson plan.   
  
"In faith, I do not love thee with mine eyes/For they in thee a thousand errors note/But 'tis my heart that loves what they despise/Who in despite of view is pleas 'd to dote." He paused, watching his students as they attempted to process the words he had just said in a quick rapping sequence. Seeing no comprehension, he sighed heavily and said, "All right, folks, listen up, I have an assignment for you. I'd like you all to write your own version of Shakespeare's Sonnet 141."   
  
The class as a whole groaned and began to protest.   
  
"Come on, this is an easy one. Any form you'd like. Rhyme, no rhyme, whatever. I'd just like to see you elaborate on his theme."   
  
Patrick raised his hand, which caused Mr. Morgan to call on him reluctantly. "Yes, Mr. I Always Make My Teacher Go Crazy With My Questions?"   
  
"Do you want this in Iambic Pentameter?"   
  
Mr. Morgan's mouth dropped open momentarily before he recovered and said, "You mean you aren't going to fight me on this one?"   
  
Patrick shook his head. "No, I think this is a really good assignment. I'm looking forward to it."   
  
Mr. Morgan pointed to the classroom door and yelled "Out! You're out of here! Go to Miss Perky's office right now."   
  
"But I didn't do anything wrong!" Patrick protested.   
  
"I don't care - I know you want to, so get out and go!"   
  
Patrick angrily gathered his books and stormed from the classroom.   
  
* * *   
  
Michael stood at his locker, contemplating whether or not to grow a beard like the one Shakespeare had. He gazed at a picture of the Bard he had posted up at eye level on the locker door.   
  
"Nice picture. You a fan?"   
  
Michael turned and saw a tall slender girl standing at his side. He recognized her as the girl that had been hanging out with Kat Verona recently. Patrick had told him only sketchy details about his experience with Kat during and after Bogey's party, but Michael could tell that although Patrick was upset with Kat for some reason, there was also a hint of obvious attraction that he felt for her. Perhaps this girl would be able to fill in the blanks in Patrick's story.   
  
"I guess I'm a fan, yes," he finally said in response to her question.   
  
"Very cool," she continued. "You should grow a goatee like him. I think it would look good."   
  
Michael was taken aback at her psychic ability to know what he was thinking a moment ago.   
  
Mandella smiled and recited, "Who could refrain that had a heart to love and in that heart, courage to make love known?"   
  
"You know Macbeth?" he asked incredulously.   
  
Mandella's smile turned into a grin and she said, "So listen, I have this friend..."   
  
* * *   
  
"Okay, I got the scoop," Mandella said as she found Bianca and Kat sat on the bleachers during Patrick's afternoon soccer practice.   
  
"What did he say?" Bianca asked hopefully.   
  
"Hates her with the fire of a thousand suns. That's a direct quote."   
  
Kat sighed softly.   
  
"What happened?" Bianca asked Kat. "What did you do to him?"   
  
Dejectedly, Kat played with the fringe at the bottom of her pant leg. "I don't know...well, I decided not to hook up with him when he'd be too drunk to remember it."   
  
Mandella and Bianca passed a look of surprise between them. Could it be that Kat had feelings for Patrick?   
  
Mandella coughed delicately. "You realize this puts the entire project in jeopardy?"   
  
"Yeah, I got that figured out, Eckman. Thanks." Kat violently ripped out the thread she had been playing with on her jeans. "He won't even look at me."   
  
"Can't you just tell him you're sorry?" Bianca asked helpfully.   
  
Kat looked at Bianca, not bothering to answer. "I think he needs one more day to cool off." Just then a soccer ball whizzed between Kat and Bianca, a mere few inches from either of them. Kat turned and saw Patrick walking away from a stack of soccer balls. "Maybe two."   
  
They all sat watching practice for a few moments before Kat finally asked Bianca about Bogey's party. "Did you make any headway?"   
  
"He kissed me!" she gushed, a pretty blush cropping up on her cheeks.   
  
"Where?" Kat asked.   
  
"In my car."   
  
Confused by the answer, Kat just shook her head and turned back to watch Patrick run across the field and needlessly tackle one of his soccer teammates.   



	13. The One Where It's The Other Way Around,...

TOWITOWA, Part 13: Trying to Make Amends  
  
  
The following day found a determined Chastity Donner approaching Kat in the hallway. "Look Verona, I'm determined to get Cameron to go to the Prom with me."  
  
"Yeah, well prom's are expensive, Donner. So I'll need a lot more money than you are paying me."  
  
"Don't jazz me, I know all about it. Look, here's three hundred. If you don't succeed, I'm getting that money back, plus interest."  
  
Kat counted the money, a plan formulating in her head. "Not a problem," she said.  
  
* * *  
  
Patrick tore down a prom flyer from the lamppost in the courtyard. "Who in the hell would want to actually go to this bastion of commercial excess?" he asked scornfully as he ripped it in half.  
  
"Well, since we don't have dates, I suppose we won't be there," Michael replied sadly.  
  
"You sound like you want to go!" Patrick exclaimed.  
  
"Okay okay, we won't go. It's not like I have a tux or anything."  
  
Patrick grunted and seethed, "You're looking at this the wrong way. We're making a statement."  
  
Not impressed, Michael said, "Oh goody. Another statement from Mr. Political. Something new and different for you."  
  
* * *  
  
Cameron held up his bow and arrow, attempting to aim directly onto the middle of the target set up 50 feet away.  
  
"Hey sweetie," he heard a soft voice drawl behind him.  
  
Keeping his aim straight, Cameron said, "Hello, Chastity."  
  
"So I wanted to talk to you about Prom," Chastity said, coming up beside him.  
  
Glad for once that his mother was so strict, Cameron said, "You know the rules, Chastity. If Patrick doesn't go, I can't go."  
  
"But your brother IS going."  
  
Shocked, Cameron lowered the bow and accidentally let the arrow fly across the field. He didn't notice when it hit Mr. Chapin's right buttcheek and stuck, quivering slightly from its velocity.  
  
"What did you say?" Cameron asked, disbelieving. "Since when?"  
  
Chastity smiled provocatively. "Let's just say I'm working on it." She moved away, not seeing Joey standing nearby, a taut expression of disappointment on his face.  
  
* * *  
  
For a week Patrick had managed to avoid Kat, deliberately keeping his eyes averted during their English class, not going to any of his hangouts with Michael. He was still feeling rejected by her and it bothered him that he was still upset about it.  
  
He deliberately had kept most of the details from Michael, mainly because he was trying to sort out his emotions from that night at the party. Patrick had gone to the party as a favor to Cameron, only to get angry when he saw Chastity Donner blatantly making moves on his brother.  
  
On top of that, he had been upset with himself for feeling such pleasure at the sight of Kat on his front doorstep before the party, and was trying to escape the small amount of attraction he felt for her. Thus, Jose Cuervo became a friend that night, only to desert him and become his worst enemy by way of his stomach.  
  
Patrick grimaced as he recalled getting sick all over Kat's shoes. It was actually a wonder that she wasn't mad at him for ruining a perfectly good pair of Doc Marten boots.  
  
Patrick wandered through the bookstore in an effort to find something other than Kat to occupy his mind. When he saw Kat coming down the aisle towards him he quickly grabbed a book from the shelf without bothering to see what it was.  
  
Scowling, he turned his back to her and covered his face with the book in the hopes that she would continue walking by.  
  
"Hey there, Patrick. I've lost my copy of 'The Feminine Mystique'. Know where I find a new one?"  
  
"What are you doing here?" Patrick asked rudely, pretending to be interested in the book he held upside down.  
  
"I heard there was a poetry reading today," she responded pleasantly.  
  
Flustered by her close proximity, Patrick sputtered, "You're so..."  
  
"Engaging?"  
  
Patrick stared mutely.  
  
"Wholesome?" she continued.  
  
"Unwelcome," Patrick finally suggested, slamming his paperback shut.  
  
Kat laughed. "Someone still has his boxers in a twist." She went to move past him.  
  
Patrick blocked her from leaving. "Don't think for one moment you had any affect whatsoever on my boxers."  
  
"So what DID I have an effect on?" she asked cheekily, grinning up at him.  
  
"You mean other than my upchuck reflex?" he replied without hesitation, still tightly gripping the book in front of himself.  
  
Kat grabbed the book from him then handed it back to him, saying wryly, "You've got a lot to learn, Stratford. You might want to go ahead and buy that."  
  
As she walked away, Patrick looked down at the book he had mindlessly pulled from the shelf moments ago. It was 'The Feminine Mystique'.  



	14. The One Where It's The Other Way Around,...

The following day, Bianca and Mandella found Kat sitting alone in the cafeteria and sat down with her.   
  
"You're right," Kat immediately pronounced before they spoke to her. "He's still mad at me."   
  
"Sweet love, renew thy force!" Mandella exclaimed loudly, pounding her chest with a dramatic fist.   
  
Kat quickly looked around at the tables nearby and hissed, "Girl, don't say stuff like that to me. People can hear you."   
  
Bianca sighed exasperatedly. "Kat, you humiliated him. You need to sacrifice yourself on the alter of dignity and make amends."   
  
"Yeah," Mandella encouraged. "And best case scenario has you back on the payroll."   
  
"And the worst case?" Kat groused.   
  
"You get the boy in the end," Mandella cackled.   
  
Kat thought for a moment. "Well, if I'm going down, I'm taking him with me."   
  
* * *   
  
Kat found the audio/visual department in the basement and handed over the three hundred dollars Chastity had given to her earlier in the week. "This should be enough, right?"   
  
Brad, a member of the marching band, nodded cheerfully and tucked the money into his pocket. "We'll be ready for you by three o'clock."   
  
"Great. And your name will never pass these lips if I'm busted."   
  
"Even better," Brad said in a relieved tone.   
  
* * *   
  
Soccer practice was just about over and Patrick was patiently trying to teach one of the third string players how to make the perfect penalty kick while the marching band began taking the field for their own practice. Suddenly he heard high-pitched feedback as the stadium sound system came on. A few crackling moments later and a tentative yet sultry voice began echoing from the massive speakers around the field.   
  
"You're just too good to be true. Can't take my eyes off you."   
  
Patrick whirled around, attempting to find the source of the singing.   
  
The feminine voice continued, becoming stronger and more confident. "You feel like heaven to touch. I wanna hold you so much."   
  
Patrick saw someone point to the bleachers and he followed their direction and saw Kat Verona standing at the top of the bleachers with a microphone in her hand.   
  
He gawked as she continued on. "At long last love has arrived. And I thank God I'm alive. You're just good to be true. Can't take my eyes off you."   
  
As Kat took a step down on the bleacher steps, Patrick jumped when the marching band suddenly lurched into song, picking up with the chorus.   
  
Kat let loose with a crazy grin at Patrick as she continued moving down the stairs, occasionally shuffling her feet in a mock tap step. "I love you baby," she intoned cheerfully into the mike, "And if it's quite all right, I need you, baby, to warm a lonely night. I love you, baby, trust in me when I say." As she reached the bottom of the bleachers she spotted two campus security officers scurrying toward her, hellbent on stopping her karaoke apology. Not to be deterred, she continued singing, making a funny face at Patrick as she continued on. "Oh pretty baby, Don't bring me down, I pray -- Oh pretty baby, Now that I've found this day."   
  
One of the security guards lunged for her and caught her arm, but Kat managed to break free from his grasp and raced up the stairs, clutching onto the mike and all but shouting out the final words of her chorus. "So let me love you baby. Let me love you!"   
  
Finally the two security guards were able to corner Kat and she immediately took a defensive position and stopped so they could catch her. But over one of the guard's shoulders she saw Patrick applauding with the rest of the students on the field, an amazed smile brightening his face.   
  
It was apparent to her that she was forgiven. She had never been happier.  



	15. The One Where It's The Other Way Around,...

"Nice song, Verona," Scurvy Whitlow laughed as Kat took one of the last seats available in the classroom being used for detention.   
  
"Flog me now," was her quick response as Mr. Chapin gingerly entered the room, still recovering from the arrow attack during Archery.   
  
"Excuse me, Mr. Chapin?" Patrick stood in the doorway of the classroom.   
  
Kat turned in her seat and stared at Patrick, who smiled and winked at her.   
  
"Yes, Mr. Stratford?" Mr. Chapin asked.   
  
"Um...I was hoping to go over some strategy with you about the next match coming up against Padua East."   
  
"Mr. Stratford, now is the not the time to discussion soccer strategies. This is a detention hall right now."   
  
"I know that, but I came up with a really good idea and I felt I should present it to you now instead of later."   
  
Mr. Chapin rolled his eyes and turned his back on the class to make his way to the desk at the front of the room.   
  
Kat glanced at Patrick, who motioned pointedly toward the bay of windows on one side of the room. Kat frowned and gestured that she was confused.   
  
Patrick pointed at the windows and silently mouthed, "Go out the window!" before saying, "Mr. Chapin, it'll just take a minute," and entering the classroom.   
  
Kat watched Patrick step up to Mr. Chapin and deliberately turn the teacher's back to the row of windows. Understanding now what Patrick was attempting to do, she began gathering her things together to make her escape.   
  
She couldn't hear what Patrick was saying but it was obvious that Mr. Chapin was unhappy about the interruption, since he kept trying to turn away from Patrick and face the classroom. Kat moved quickly and negotiated quietly through the students to the windows. She was concerned that one of the students might turn her in before she even made it out the window, but luckily they were all on her side and didn't make a sound.   
  
Since it was a nice warm spring day, the windows were fully open, and Kat threw her backpack out first and watched it land on the ground. Thank God this classroom is on the ground floor! she thought. Pausing only a moment to look back at Patrick and Mr. Chapin, she saw that Patrick was gripping onto Mr. Chapin's shoulders with determination so that the teacher couldn't turn. Without waiting another second, Kat slipped her body through the large window and let herself drop unceremoniously to the ground with a grunt.   
  
Freedom!   
  
* * *   
  
An hour later, Kat and Patrick found themselves walking around an outdoor fair that had been set up in a nearby park. Enjoying in the mid-afternoon sun, Kat said, "I figured I had pissed you off so badly that night after Bogey's party that I had do something even worse so that it wouldn't seem so bad. So embarrassing you in front of half the school seemed like a good idea."   
  
Patrick laughed. "Good call. Especially since it was really more embarrassing for you this time around."   
  
Kat smiled to herself, recalling how she hadn't really been "So how did you get Chapin to not look?"   
  
"I told him that I thought using the Jedi mind trick was the perfect way to win. I was attempting to show him how it worked."   
  
"Nerd!" Kat guffawed. "That's a major geek check right there! You used 'Star Wars' as my getaway plan?"   
  
"Hey, it worked didn't it?" Patrick said defensively, a grin letting Kat know he wasn't really offended at her remark. They stopped in front of an arcade game and Patrick laid down his dollar and quickly won a small stuffed animal, which he gave to a little girl who was staring at him from nearby. He tousled her hair and she rewarded him with a huge smile as she hugged the toy tightly.   
  
Kat raised a surprised eyebrow. "A soft side? Who knew the dog was actually a butterfly?"   
  
"Yeah, well, don't let that information get out to the general public."   
  
"So what's your excuse?" Kat asked, digging her hands into her jeans pockets as they continued their walk.   
  
"For what?"   
  
"For acting the way you do - all gruff and rude and stuff."   
  
"I don't like to do what people expect," Patrick responded thoughtfully, weighing each word. "Then they expect it all the time and they get disappointed when you change."   
  
"So you'd rather just disappoint them from the beginning and you're covered?"   
  
"Something like that."   
  
Kat sighed dramatically. "Well then you screwed up, Stratford."   
  
"How's that?" he asked, stopping their walk and facing her.   
  
She smiled up at him, taking in his handsome features. "You never disappointed me."   
  
Patrick immediately blushed, which delighted Kat tremendously. Slightly embarrassed, Patrick finally blurted, "Are you up for it?"   
  
"Up for what?" she asked.   
  
Patrick pointed behind her, and she turned and saw a sign listing the prices for paintball sessions.   
  
Kat let go with an evil grin and said, "Oh yeah, it's on now."   
  
A few minutes later they were decked out in coveralls and eye goggles, racing around the huge area blocked off for paintball participants. Kat and Patrick shouted and laughed as they aimed repeatedly at each other and splashed paint all over each other.   
  
In what seemed like only a few moments, Kat found herself out of paintballs, and was approached by Patrick, wielding his paintball gun with one last blast of paint ready to fly.   
  
Kat backed up, saying, "No way - you wouldn't dare! It's not right to fire on someone who is unarmed!"   
  
"You know what they say, Verona," Patrick warned. "All fair in love and war." With that he rushed her and tackled her, causing them to fall backwards into a large bale of hay that was normally used as a hiding space.   
  
Patrick took off his eye goggles and then reached out to flip Kat's up onto the top of her head. Kat gazed up at Patrick as they lay there. She could feel his hot minty breath on her face, could see his eyes glance at her mouth before he lowered his head to hers and ever so softly brought his lips to hers. Without a care in the world, Kat wrapped her arms around Patrick, pulling him closer to her, deepening the kiss.   
  
When they finally broke apart, Patrick ran his fingers through Kat's hair and said, "Forget war, I'm much more in favor of the other thing."   
  
Kat smiled and reached for Patrick again, but he didn't notice her other hand reach out to the paintball gun and carefully remove the last remaining paintball. With a flourish she raised her arm and brought it down on Patrick's head, causing blue paint to splatter over both of them.   
  
Patrick yelped and flashed Kat a surprised look as he moved up into a kneeling position next to her. She lay there and laughed raucously, saying, "Yeah, but war can be fun when it produces that look on your face!"   
  
Patrick contemplated his next move, and decided on the best course of action. He swooped down and gathered Kat in his arms and proceeded to kiss her with full abandon until her giggles ceased entirely.   



	16. The One Where It's The Other Way Around,...

TOWITOWA, Part 16: Truth and Lies  
  
Approaching Patrick's front porch that evening, still covered in paint from their day at the arcades, Patrick asked, "Jail time?"  
  
Kat laughed. "Fallacy."  
  
"I know the porn career is a lie."  
  
Kat feigned offense and wickedly responded, "Do you?"  
  
Patrick looked at her for a second then grinned, "Yes I do! Live duck?"  
  
"Pure hearsay."  
  
They sat down on the steps in front of Patrick's house and he leaned in and kissed her neck, causing her to purr a bit. She had purred more in one afternoon than her entire life combined.  
  
"Tell me something true," Patrick demanded softly, taking Kat's hand in his and tracing her knuckles with the tips of his fingers.  
  
"I hate peas," she announced.  
  
"No, I mean something no one else knows."  
  
Kat leaned over and kissed Patrick softly on the cheek. "You're sweet." She kissed his chin. "You're sexy." She kissed his mouth, her tongue darting out to lick his bottom lip before she moved away. "And incredibly hot for me."  
  
Patrick kissed her back then murmured, "That's not what I meant."  
  
Kat, with false innocence, replied, "Well, no one else knows those things, right?"  
  
Patrick nodded. "You are amazingly self-assured. Has anyone told you that?"  
  
Taking the opportunity before her, Kat said, "Go to Prom with me."  
  
Patrick's smile disappeared. "Is that a request or a command?"  
  
"You know what I mean," Kat cajoled, holding onto Patrick's hand even as he pulled away.  
  
"No."  
  
"No what?"  
  
Patrick stood up abruptly. "No I won't go to Prom with you."  
  
"Why not?" Kat demanded to know.  
  
"Because it's an absurd tradition that I want no part of."  
  
Kat thought briefly of telling him about the money she was being paid to date him, but instead said, "Come on, no on will expect you to go."  
  
Patrick turned on her. "Why are you doing this?"  
  
Kat stood up next to him and asked, "Doing what?"  
  
"All of it. What's in it for you?"  
  
Kat cringed inwardly as the money came into her head again. Mentally she shook the image free but her brief pause caused Patrick to finally lose his temper.  
  
"Out creating a little drama for yourself?"  
  
"So what," Kat shot back, "Now I have to have a motive to want to be with you?"  
  
"You tell me," Patrick said heatedly.  
  
Kat sputtered for a moment before saying, "You need some serious therapy, Patrick."  
  
"You didn't answer my question, Katarina," Patrick bit out viciously.  
  
"Nothing! No motive! Just the pleasure of your company!" Frustrated, Kat reached into her backpack and felt around for the nearly-full pack of cigarettes she carried around for emergencies.   
  
As she placed the cigarette to her lips and began feeling in her pocket for her lighter, Patrick snatched the cigarette from her mouth and snapped it in half. Then he stalked up the stairs and slammed the front door behind him, leaving Kat on the front steps, shaking with sadness and guilt.  



	17. The One Where It's The Other Way Around,...

The One Where It's The Other Way Around  
Chapter 17: Confession is Good for the Soul  
  
  
Michael pulled as hard as he could on the locker door and couldn't get it to open. With a frustrated sigh he balled up a fist and violently hit the door, and suddenly it flew open. Hanging inside was a costume, obviously inspired by the 16th Century.   
  
Michael's eyes widened as he reached out to touch the note attached delicately to the collar of the white gauzy shirt under a heavy brocaded vest.   
  
O HANDSOME ONE. JOIN ME AT THE PROM.   
I WILL BE WAITING.   
LOVE, YOUR JULIET.   
  
Michael's mouth curved into a smile. He hadn't planned on going to the Prom. However, there was only one person he could think of that would have put this costume in his locker (how DID she get in his locker? he thought mildly). And he couldn't wait to see what her costume looked like.   
  
* * *   
  
Cameron found his mom on the stationary bike on the upstairs balcony outside her room. Gathering up his courage, he slid open the glass door and stepped out onto the balcony.   
  
"Mom, I want to talk to you about the Prom. It's tomorrow night and --"   
  
"Prom. Senior Prom?" Mrs. Stratford wheezed. "Does Patrick have a date?"   
  
Cameron bit back a sarcastic response and said, "No, but -"   
  
Mrs. Stratford looked pointedly at her son as she continued pedaling. "For whom do you want me to bend the rules? That girl Chastity Donner that drove you home in her hot rod?"   
  
Cameron frowned slightly. "It wasn't a hot rod, Mom. And I don't see why this is such a big deal."   
  
Mrs. Stratford stopped pedaling so that she could focus on the conversation. Grabbing a towel from the handlebars she mopped her perspiring face and said, "Cameron, do you know what happens at the Prom?"   
  
Cameron nodded. "Of course. Dancing, talking, maybe a kiss or two good night."   
  
Mrs. Stratford snorted indelicately. "Kissing? Is that what you think happens? Listen, bucko, kissing isn't what keeps me up to the elbows in placenta all day long."   
  
Cameron stared at his mother in disbelief. "You are completely unbalanced."   
  
Ignoring the comment, Mrs. Stratford said, "I'm sorry, but you know the rules. If Patrick isn't going, you are not going either."   
  
Cameron stomped one foot impatiently. "Oh I see. I'm not a son, I'm a prisoner. In my own house!"   
  
With that, Cameron stormed from the balcony, leaving his mother to sigh dejectedly at the anger she could feel from her younger son.   
  
* * *   
  
Patrick heard the commotion from his mother's balcony through his open window in the next room. He cringed when he heard how desperately unhappy Cameron was about not being allowed to go to Prom.   
  
Patrick sat at his desk for a few moments, debating what to do. The solution seemed simple: Go to Prom with Kat.   
  
But in the back of his head he worried that by going with Kat he'd be opening up his brother to the clutches of Chastity, and that just didn't sit well at all. Patrick knew it was time to tell Cameron about Chastity Donner.   
  
Patrick moved to stand then he sat back down again with a thud. But am I prepared to go to Prom with Kat? he asked himself. Can I trust her?   
  
Patrick thought back to when Kat had abruptly asked him to Prom after their fun day at the arcade. He had thoroughly enjoyed her company that afternoon, and was actually thinking of asking her to go with him to the Prom. But when she wouldn't answer his question about why she had started pursuing him in the first place, he had gotten a bad feeling and left here sitting on his front porch steps.   
  
Patrick sighed heavily, feeling the weight of so much stress on his shoulders. He wanted to make amends with Kat. He could tell she liked him, despite her reticence. And he knew he definitely liked her - he had made it obvious when he kissed her during their paintball session.   
  
Patrick stood up. He had heard Cameron slam his bedroom door, and so Patrick went into the hall and knocked lightly on his brother's door and opened it a crack, saying "Cameron? Can I talk to you for a minute?"   
  
Cameron was lying on his bed, holding a remote control in one hand. The tv on his desk was on, but Cameron politely pressed the mute button on his remote so that the volume was turned down completely. Then without a word he glared at Patrick.   
  
Patrick took the muted tv as an invitation and came into Cameron's room, shutting the door behind him and sitting at the chair by Cameron's desk.   
  
"Listen," he began. "I know you hate having to stay at home because I'm not Tommy High School."   
  
"Like you care," Cameron grunted.   
  
"I do care," Patrick insisted. "But I'm a firm believer in doing something for your own reasons, not someone else's."   
  
"I wish I had that luxury," Cameron pouted. "I'm the only sophomore guy that got invited to the Senior Prom, and I can't even go."   
  
Patrick paused a moment before letting the ball drop. "Chastity never told you I went out with her, did she?"   
  
Cameron's eyes rounded in shock. "What?"   
  
"In ninth grade, for about a month."   
  
Cameron was totally confused. "Why?"   
  
Patrick mocked himself, saying in a surfer voice, "Dude, she was a babe!"   
  
"But you hate Chastity."   
  
"I do now," Patrick clarified. "Back then, though, I really really liked her."   
  
"As in...?" Cameron asked, not finishing his sentence.   
  
Patrick shrugged. "I know it sounds stupid, I mean - I'm supposed to be the man's man of Padua High and all that. I knew everyone was doing it, and -"   
  
"And what?"   
  
"We did it. Just once," Patrick rushed on when Cameron sat up to interject a comment. "And after that I decided that I wasn't ready to be that physical - I decided to be a gentleman. She got pissed at me - and broke things off with me."   
  
"Are you kidding? Are you an idiot? You slept with Chastity Donner and felt guilty ?"   
  
Patrick shook his head, frustrated that Cameron wasn't getting the point of his confession. "Cameron, after that, I swore I'd never do anything just because 'everyone else' was doing it. And since that episode with Chastity in the ninth grade, I haven't. Except for Bogey's party, and my stunning gastro-intestinal display..."   
  
"Why didn't you just tell me?" Cameron asked tightly.   
  
"Because I wanted you to make up your own mind about her."   
  
Cameron's slow-burning fuse ran out, and he jumped up from the bed in a fury. "No, you didn't! If you really thought I could make my own decisions, you would've let me go out with her instead of helping Mom hold me hostage."   
  
Patrick stood up as well, towering over his younger brother. "That's not -"   
  
"I'm not stupid enough to repeat your mistakes."   
  
"I guess I thought I was protecting you. Chastity Donner is a shark in a short skirt."   
  
"Man, you're just like Mom! Keeping me locked away so that I can't experience anything for myself."   
  
"But not all experiences are good, Cameron," Patrick urged. "You can't always trust people the way you want to."   
  
Cameron brushed past him and opened his door. Turning angrily before he stormed out, he cried out, "Well I guess I'll never know, will I?" 


End file.
